Mental Health?

I had a girls night last night. It was terribly needed. I went to the mall with Mariah. We pretty much talked about Florida the whole night.  

We shopped a little. 

Thank you forever 21 for making me feel like a 27 year old again. I totally got all three of these things! (Sidenote, I swear the yellow top is actually cute IRL. It doesn't photograph well!)

Then we ate. A lot. 

I had diet coke. Chips and salsa. Guac (Totes w30). and a chimichanga. 

So good. And it was so needed. Today will be spent hiking with my kids. Eating celery and water. Kidding. 

Breafast yesterday was 2 hard boiled eggs, clementine, 5 prunes and coffee.

Lunch-salmon with lemon, rosemary dill, potatoes and onions, broccoli and blueberries!

w16d3&4

Yesterday, my husband was home. Like all day.

He's a 3rd year family medicine resident. He's also in the Army National Guard and moonlights at urgent care. He's NEVER home. So we spent the day doing what normal people do. Weeding, repairing door knobs, and hinges, and folding doors. I mean that's totally what normal people do on their only day off, right? Thought so. (Operation House On The Market!!!)

I took pictures of my foods, and yesterday was kind of a bad food day. I was also having some gastro distress...too much Natural Calm.

Wednesday-Day 3 (Mostly compliant!)

Breakfast was 4 Jones Natural Sausages (not pictured because they were cooking and I was STARVING), 2 hard boiled eggs, a cutie and 5 prunes.

Lunch was spent at Ikea. I was pretty excited about a compliant-ish meal. I didn't eat the brown rice but grilled chicken over mixed greens, cucumber and grape tomatoes. Bowl of fruit including grapefruit, pineapple and orange.

Dinner was rotisserie chicken from Costco shredded with a whole cucumber, salt, a littttttle pepper ;), and balsamic vinegar. It was delish. Also the chicken is being buried by the cucumbers. I promise that there is a lot of chicken in there.

Thursday-Day 4....

It started off great! 3 eggs scrambled with mushrooms and cholula sauce, a cutie and 4 Jones sausages. 

Barry brought Chipotle home. How can I say no to the deliciousness? I mean I know corn isn't compliant but he didn't...I totally ate the delicious corn. (And as an effort of full disclosure 10 of the kids' corn chips because they're delicious and were about to get thrown away!!!)

Dinner was salmon with lemon, dill, and rosemary. Steamed broccoli and lemon onion and potato.

Snacks....this is where I went OFF the rails. I had saved 2 snack size/mini Coconut Twix that I'd purchased after Easter. Those who know me know that coconut is my weakness. When dinner was cooking I ate those because I was dying. Then the sweets floodgates were opened. I had a handful of Reeses Pieces Eggs and finished off my pint of Ben & Jerry's The Tonight Dough. (That ice cream is Jackie's fault...)

Back at it today. My intestines feel less angry, so that's a definite plus! I'm thankful that I don't feel sick from my short ride on the wild side. 

w16d2

Day 2 is in the books!

Successful and oh man, my dinner was so good.

Breakfast- 2 hard boiled eggs, cutie and 5 prunes and 4 Jones Sausages*. (black coffee)

Lunch-Leftover stuffed pepper stuffings and mixed green salad with olive oil & balsamic vinegar. Added copious amounts of salt and pepper.

Dinner was an experiment. 

I chopped up 2 white potatoes and 1 sweet potato and 1 sweet onion and lined the bottom of my cast iron casserole pan. Coconut oil first, then onions, white potatoes, sweet potatoes. I seasoned them with salt, pepper, paprika and red pepper flakes. And then put in the chicken breasts. Seasoned them with salt, pepper, paprika and red pepper flakes and cooked for an hour at 375º. It. Was. Delicious.

I had 1/4 cup of mixed nuts and banana as a snack.

*So here's my thing. Could I make my own sausage that's 100% compliant? Yes. Do I really have time to do that? No. So I compromise and eat these sausages and call them close enough to compliant. The ingredients are as follows: pork, water, salt, spices, sugar. So judge my compliant-ness if you will but these make my life easy and they're delicious.

As promised. Here are my w16 BEFORE pictures :) I am excited to see the progress I can make in these two weeks. 

I see things that I wish weren't there but most of all I see the progress I've made.  One day I'll share my true before pictures. Even though that's not me anymore they are still hard and make me feel extremely vulnerable. 

Whole 16

We are moving to Florida! OMG! It still doesn't seem real. In less than 90 days we will be moving. My husband and I leave in 2 weeks for a kid free house hunting trip! I don't think it comes as any surprise that I want to be in decent shape and feel confident while we are there! I decided to do another whole 16...I can't commit to eating 100% whole while we are traveling but I sure can commit to being as healthy as possible before.

Yesterday was day 1 and despite an almost automatic drive through experience I maintained a whole day.

Breakfast was 2 hardboiled eggs, a cutie and 5 prunes.

Lunch was rotisserie chicken and cucumber. (It also looks like not a lot of chicken but it's hidden under the cucumber!)

Dinner was Practical Paleo stuffed peppers. (SO SO SO good! I love that cookbook so much!)

Snacks, not pictured, banana and 1/4 cup of unsalted mixed nuts (almonds, cashew, pecan, pistachio)

I will post my w16 'before' pictures later today! 

New Goals-Update-Revalations

So, last time I posted I was having trouble figuring out SMART Goals for the next 8 weeks. I came up with a few thanks to the help of some of my good friends.

1. Perfect Points.
Not only is it achievable and based solely on my choices. Perfect points refers to the 8 week challenge group I'm a part of. There are certain categories you must meet each day. Enough water, exercise 45 minutes/day 5 days a week, eat 3 servings of vegetables a day, 2 servings of fruit, keep a food journal (I use My Fitness Pal- ChristiaP add me!), and contact with a team mate each day. (I think there are more but I can't remember off the top of my head.) You get BONUS points for perfect point weeks and we have a HUGE pot to split between the top winners.

2. Improve my endurance.
I've been running for years now but I'm not getting any faster. I dreamed that I had run a 5K with a 9:31 pace. So now that's my goal.

3. Stop obsessing over what the scale says.
Pretty self explanatory. The numbers displayed on the scale do not define me. I define me.

That's what I have for now. I'll probably change or tweak these as the weeks go by.

Now for the update.   2 weeks ago I was dx with strep throat. (Right at the start of the challenge, yay me.) I finished my antibiotics on Tuesday and had a rash on my foot Tuesday night. Wednesday night it was incredibly itchy and miserable and by Thursday it was covering my arms and legs. Apparently I'm allergic to keflex. So that's been fun.

My big boys' birthdays are 3/16 (Julian) and 2/27 (Gabriel) and we had a joint Minecraft birthday party for them yesterday. I tried to stay strong and resist all of my favorite treats but I just couldn't. I consumed more than a few of my coveted Swedish Fish, a tiny sliver of chocolate cake, and 2 slices of pizza. (I ate healthy for breakfast and lunch...) I am trying to find balance. Eating strict w30 every day of my life isn't exactly realistic for long term. I'm trying to find what works and what doesn't work for me.

I know for a fact I have an unhealthy relationship with sugar. I mean the fact that I couldn't say no to Swedish Fish is a huge red flag for me. I know I get bloated as heck when I eat foods with gluten. Corn seems to bother me. I've not done straight dairy dairy since my first whole, but I've done bleu cheese with no impact as well as some regular cheddar. I think it's about finding a balance point where you're still eating whole, healthy foods and also able to enjoy life.

That's all for now. I'm attempting to blog more regularly so we'll see if that actually happens.

Maybe a DITL of me. Because I know you're curious.

It's all relative...

So, weight. I know I've talked a little bit about it before but today was the last day/first day of an 8 week fitness challenge.

I successfully lost 9 lbs in 8 weeks. (To be honest with you and myself, I'm back down to my lowest weight of the summer.)

I should be happy or feel like I've accomplished something. I don't. I feel sort of lost? Where do I go from here? I feel more confident in my skin, more comfortable with my body. I'm active and not static. I don't necessarily want to lose more weight but I need goals. Achieving my weight loss goal should leave me with some feeling of accomplishment or success but it doesn't.

What kind of goals can I have that aren't weight specific? Fitness goals that are SMART like my friend Brooke says, Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely?

I have another friend that's super organized. I think being prepared and meal planning will be one of my goals. Plan the dinners for one week M-F. (so far so good! Kalua Pork, Taco Wraps, Baked Chicken, Mahi Mahi and Practical Paleo Salmon Cakes.)

Finish a w60 is a SMART goal.

I need more.

I need your help. Can you give me your best SMART fitness goals?

Swim Suits

We currently reside in Kansas City, MO. The current temperature is 11º but it feesl like -7º. It's cold and bitterly so. No snow though, so that's a good thing. 

In about 4 months we will be leaving the midwest for sunnier and sandier shores. Literally. We're moving to Santa Rosa Beach, FL. To say that I'm excited would be the understatement of the century. To say that I'm scared, overwhelmed, nervous, and the rest of the emotions in the human capacity the same. Starting over is scary. Moving to the unknown also scary. We've done it twice before and this time we have an amazing blessing. Some of our closest friends are moving down there with us! We are currently in negotiations to try to get them to move into the SAME development as us so we can borrow sugar and stuff that neighbors do. (Audubon Point, Mariah!!!)

So since we are moving to Florida I will need a vast selection of swim suits, right? I mean I have two. And that works great for MO where the ocean is 15+ hours away. When it's 15 minutes away though, I feel like I will need more options.

I snuck away to Target the other day to look at swim suits. I was kid free, they were asleep and my husband was working on notes. I had nothing else to do, except laundry and EW. I've been consistently working out for a year now. I've been eating relatively healthy for the same. I just started a whole 60. I should feel confident in my skin. Be proud of the work that I've accomplished, the progress I've made. Something about the Target fitting room and the ill fitting suits demolished everything I've worked so hard for. I felt as though I hadn't made any progress. I felt like I looked exactly like I did before all of the work started. What is it about a piece of brightly colored spandex that can demolish self esteem so swiftly?

Who defines what looks "good" in a swim suit? Is it society? Me? Some random person on the beach? This morning I woke up and felt healthy. I felt strong and fit. Maybe the fitting room images have been forgotten from my brain. Maybe not. Maybe my hormones have leveled off some thanks to day 8 of w30. Who knows. All I know is that I have work to do. I have to accept my body, the imperfections. The stretch marks. The things I can't control all while keeping a progressive attitude. One that encourages work and progress. 

I'm not giving up on having a body that I'm not embarrassed of. I know that I will be able to attain this goal of self acceptance and love. I know that I can achieve that. Work is hard. If it was easy everyone would have 6-pack abs, right? 

I promise to post my before pictures soon. As embarrassing as those are, I think it's necessary to benchmark my progress. To prove to myself that I HAVE made huge strides towards fitness. Now though, I have to finish getting the kids ready for school. 

xoxo-

c